Facing Fears

I’m terrified of sharks. I know they get a bad reputation and really aren’t out to hurt people, but almost every time I see one breach, it freaks me out. It’s weird, too, because I’m only scared of breaching/eating ones or fake ones (which are usually attacking someone/something in the movies). I have no problem seeing them in an aquarium setting. To my credit, I’m getting much better about the whole thing.

It started when I went to Universal Studios as a kid and was leaning over the tram. We drove by a lake. A fake fisherman sunk, and we all know what happened next. A giant (to a kid anyway) gaping maw thrashed out of the water, looking for something to eat. A little girl would be a nice snack, wouldn’t she? I don’t remember what happened next, but I’m sure I cowered in my parents’ arms and cried.

For a while after that, every time I was watching TV or a movie, if anything (shark or not) sprang out of the water, I would have a mini panic attack. My heart would beat super fast and I’d struggle to catch my breath. When I was on the swim team, I would scare myself (oh, how the brain loves to do that) into swimming faster by thinking there was a shark after me. I even got a “Most Improved” award. The problem came when I had to do two laps and go back the other way…

I remember going to the movie theater to see Deep Blue Sea (with Samuel L. Jackson) in an attempt to face my fears. I might’ve watched it mostly through my fingers, but I did it and that movie became one of my guilty pleasures. I don’t know if it’s because I’m proud or because it’s just a silly romp, but I freaking LOVE that movie. I’ll watch it whenever it’s on TV and I actually own it.

After that, I felt brave enough to watch Jaws at home. It really wasn’t as scary as I was expecting it to be, especially in the current climate of CGI. And then I went back to the Universal Studios tram ride to face the rows of razor-sharp teeth that had haunted my dreams for years. After seeing the old decrepit shark as an adult, I definitely felt silly about how scared I was. But I understood it and applauded myself for facing it again after all that time.

If I’m not prepared for it and I see an angry/feeding shark online, or if I’m swimming a little too deep in the ocean and my brain gets the better of me, I get spooked, but nowhere near as bad as I used to. I even want to see The Shallows, partially to test myself. One of the next big things I want to do on my bucket list is to go cage diving with sharks. I already admire them and how long they’ve been around. I mean, with those teeth, how could they not be? I hear it’s an amazing, life-changing experience, and I’d really like to see them up close – in a safe(ish) way – and be able to admire instead of fear them. Or maybe a bit of both…