A Weighty Issue

I have reached a plateau. Rather, I’ve been AT a plateau for, I dunno, about a year or more now. And I am beyond frustrated.

For the past two years I’ve been teaching fitness at least 2-3 times a week. And I don’t half-ass my classes when I’m teaching. I go full-out with the rest of the class, especially during zumba. I’ve been having protein shakes instead of certain meals, upped my greens intake, cut out soda and most sweets, and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I even work out on the days when I’m NOT teaching.

This month, in particular, I made a renewed effort to up my fitness game while lowering the number on the scale by signing up for a month-long pass at Pulse, a bootcamp-style class that incorporates 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes weight training. I took my measurements before my month started, faced the scale and was determined to go to class every day I possibly could. I still watched my food, didn’t have too many cheat days, and I worked my ass off in class. Yesterday, I took the last class of the month. This morning I weighed myself... ONE pound down... ONE. Look, I know I’m getting older and my metabolism is slowing down, but ONE?!?! How can I bust my ass and be so good for only ONE little tick of the scale? And it’s not like I’ve turned all to muscle and my clothes are falling off me or anything. I feel a little less bloated or unhealthy, but that’s all I really have to show for it.

I’m the kind of person who needs some sort of validation or results, and I’m not really seeing any. I haven’t yet measured certain bits of myself yet for comparison, but I’m very discouraged at the moment. If I don’t see change – in a number or in the way my clothes fit – what’s the point? My trainer and boyfriend (yes, that’s an update for another time!) says he sees a difference and I’ve gotten one or two compliments from other people here and there, but it doesn’t seem to be enough to lift my mood and confirm that I’m on the right track. I have to know myself, and I don’t right now.

I know that this takes time, especially in the 30s and for someone on antidepressants, but I feel like I should see some difference. I also know that I don’t have that much to lose all things considered, and so it will be both harder and longer before I get to where I want to be. At least a pound is something, I know, I know... (insert eyeroll here). And healthy changes occur on the inside before visual results become apparent, but I’m so very impatient, and my motivation is waning. But most days I’m up for the challenge, and I do always feel better when I’m working out, so I have to keep at it... right?