On the Brink

As I might’ve mentioned before, I’ve been in a little bit of a rut career-wise. My agent left the company and my filmmaker group was in a lull. I was busy at work and not putting much effort into submitting for projects, auditioning, or creating in any way. It was really getting me down and a part of me forgot how much I love acting. I hit a point where I couldn’t stay stagnate anymore.

I resubscribed to several online casting sites and started submitting again. Shortly thereafter, I got several auditions! However, being in the funk I was, I wasn’t super enthusiastic about going. My friend gave me some tough love and strongly urged me to go. So, I took the day off work and went to both auditions. Despite them being for student films, I had a great time auditioning. I got to do a monologue and some lines. The day reminded me how fun acting is, that I absolutely love it, and want to get back to pursuing it with fervor.

As luck would have it, the universe was following my re-found motivation and excitement. Another friend I was following on Instagram posted that the agency she works for was looking to expand their roster of actors. I immediately sent in my headshot and resume for their consideration. I got a response to come in and meet with the agent, where we chatted and I did my monologue for her. About a week later, after checking in, the agent welcomed me aboard! I was now that much closer to getting paying auditions!

To make matters even better, I randomly received an email from a known production company that does their own casting. They straight up offered me a speaking role in their new feature film. Seeing as I didn’t get the email / info through my new agent, I called her to ask her advice. She supported me in doing the film, so I said a big, ol’ YES!

Three days later, I was on set, filming with a cult-followed director! I wasn’t even nervous, I just wanted to take it all in and do the best work I could. I remember being on the set of Sideways, my first legit speaking role, and being terrified I would flub it. But this time, I was relaxed and comfortable and took all the notes I was given as best I could. The scene was all improvised, with the director noting the lines he liked to make sure we said them. When my big moment came to get emotional, I did it in one long take; the director said it was great stuff! What was especially lovely about this day on set was how excited the director was about everything. He reminded me of a little kid the day before Christmas. He loved what he did and that enthusiasm was infectious and delightful.

All of these instances were much-needed reminders of why I'm here in L.A. to begin with, and why I work so hard to get my foot in the door. I really needed those refreshers to kick me in the butt to keep going. To keep writing my own things. To keep networking and meeting people. It re-lit the the fire that's been in me this whole time, only dimmed. It put things back into perspective. I feel like I'm on the brink of flying. I just have to keep working hard up that hill until I can take that step off the ledge. I'm so ready.