"Day of Lacey"

I have been in 2 long-term relationships for almost 12 years of my life. But a relationship that lasted maybe a month and a half took me almost 6 months to get over. Why? Because he made such a difference in my life. He showed me how much better relationships could be. Ultimately I wasn’t what he was looking for, and logically I realize that our differences wouldn’t have worked in the long term. But my eyes were opened.

In only a month and a half, I learned how to be vulnerable and honest, how to be upfront with how I was feeling. He helped me feel confident in myself and my thoughts and emotions. He didn’t judge me. Instead of asking me why I was doing something or saying I was crazy, he would ask where it was coming from. He didn’t think my idiosyncrasies were weird. He treated me like I was special.

I remember one day he deemed the “Day of Lacey”. He taught me how to cook a few healthy meals, he rubbed my back as we cuddled and watched a movie, he looked over my reel and website and offered advice, and he helped me put together a vision board of my goals. I had never experienced someone that supportive. My exes weren’t UNsupportive, they just weren’t there for me in the way I needed them to be.

He was affectionate and complementary. Yeah, I shouldn’t need a guy for validation. But it’s very uplifting to go from a very judgmental relationship with NO compliments to one with them. I opened up to him. I said how I felt when I was around him. Even though it didn’t last, I gained confidence with his help. I saw in him the kind of relationship I would like to have.

I had a very rough time getting over him. Partly because it didn’t last long enough for the problematic differences to rear their ugly heads. Partly… Well, I miss that feeling. I miss feeling safe and cherished. But now I know that better relationships are possible, and that I DESERVE to feel that way. And I refuse to settle for anything less. Plus, he was a really good kisser. xoxo