Burnt

Not gonna lie… I’m pretty lost right now. I feel like I’m going through the motions, trying to get from day to day. I’m not sad or depressed. I’m burnt out.

This is our busy season at work. My day job consists of using 100% brain power at all times. Everything has to be correct and exact, and there is no down time in sight. Not only do I do actual tasks, but I’m also the manager; I have to enter tasks and send reports and maintain client relationships (sorry to sound like a resume). I’ve been staying late most days (yay for overtime!) to try and get things done and out on time, meaning my brain is on eleven the majority of the day.

When I get off work, I don’t want to think anymore; I just want to shut down. I don’t have the energy to go out, and the current heat wave locks me inside with the AC cranked up. I’m tired. I’m lost. I don’t feel like I have a driving force right now. I was talking to a friend and he said that I’m not inspired right now. I didn’t realize how true that is.

I’m not blaming work, and I’m grateful to have the option to work OT and pay my bills – and keep the AC on. But in the meantime, I feel like I’ve been letting everything else slide. Things that matter to me. I don’t currently have any acting projects lined up. I’d prefer to stay home with my cat than go out on dates. I get home too late to go to the gym. All of the things I like doing that refresh me have taken a backseat to sitting on the couch watching dumb movies. At least I have Sarge to cuddle me.

I know this is only temporary and that I'll get through the busy season just fine, hopefully with having paid off my credit card! But my current day-to-day life seems to be me trying to claw to the surface before I drown, and it’s exhausting. I want to be inspired by something or someone. I want to get out of this rut. But right now, I guess I’m in hibernation mode. It’ll pass, right? It has to.