Own It.

I got new headshots taken recently (essential photo ‘calling cards’ for actors), and despite being called “pretty” and “photogenic”, the biggest compliment for me was: You just own your shit.

Maybe it’s a symptom of being older, or coming to realize I’m not the “model type”, but that meant SO MUCH to me. I’d rather know who I am and own it than just be pretty. I’d rather have my shit together and know I can handle things than need to be taken care of. There is a confidence, a strength, in that and I don’t want to let go of it.

Maybe it’s an Aries thing - I'm a grounded, stubborn Ram.

Maybe it’s this thing my friends call me: “Zero-F***s-Given Lacey” (this means an “I’ll do what I want and you can’t stop me” attitude, not “Whatever, I don’t care”). I have a reputation to uphold!

Or maybe it’s because this year, I’m determined to not sit around and wait for things to be handed to me - because they’re not.

I’m tired of sitting in the background, waiting to be called on. It’s my time. I’m ready to make things happen. I’m ready to juggle as many balls as necessary to put on an amazing show. I’m committed to myself this year. I’ve got a renewed sense of energy and purpose and I’m riding that wave as best I can.

A few people I’ve known through the years have told me they want X (whatever that is for them) and I used to empathize in a different way: “Yeah, I do too. Poor us…” Now, I find myself asking “What are you waiting for?” So, now when I’m feeling down, I ask myself that. I answer my own question with “nothing”. In this world right now, there is no need to wait for anything or anyone. People can publish their own books, make their own movies, create their own personal businesses. The sky is really the limit. At first I used to balk under the sheer amount of avenues and choices to make, but now I want to do EVERYTHING. Of course, I have to take one step at a time to not get overwhelmed, but I want to create! And there’s nothing stopping me except my own doubt. And “Zero-F***s-Given Lacey” won’t stand for doubt!

And when my photographer said that I owned my shit… That sparked something in me that I was unprepared for, yet so overwhelmingly appreciative of. I thought to myself, “yeah, I really do now”. There are always things to improve on and learn, but ultimately I have to be OK with me, first and foremost. And the results are starting to show me that I am. I AM ready for this. I’m focusing on me and my journey, losing weight (finally!), checking projects off my list, saving money, seeing baby step progress with that snowball I mentioned last blog. The thing that I find hardest is having the patience to wait for those results to start showing. But once they do, it just encourages me to work even harder and stay on that path, ever moving forward.

Owned.